It’s very stressful. We're all struggling.

All teachers right now have tried to make the transition to learning at home as smooth as possible, but it can still be very stressful. Ngajar daring ini setengah K.O. Gini salah, gitu salah. Ngasi ini takut, ngasi itu takut. Mau gini cemas, mau gitu cemas. "Nanti walimurid... Kalu walimurid... Bagaimana kalau...." We tried our best, but our best is not enough. Maksud hati memuaskan semua orang tapi.. mana mungkin bisa?

We've tried any online apps for teaching, such as zoom, webex meeting, googleforms, etc and we still try to find the best app for students but I personally think it's still not effective. On the other hand, in the classroom students are more easily supported because we can see from their notebooks as we walk around the classroom who is struggling, or the students themselves would be able to understand the task requirements because they had multiple opportunities for instruction through my modelling and then by viewing the notebooks of their friends. In online learning, they lost so much support. We need not only support from our students but also we need support from the parents as well.

Like so many teachers, I feel so stressed. I am not a confident person. When I have to teach "live" I feel restless and afraid to be honest. Haha kalau di kelas bisa all out, totalitas, kalau online malu lah ada mamanya dll. Even though I feel afraid but I still did it afraid haha. My life has been turned upside down since the pandemic began. I finally realized the power of having teamwork. I am so thankful for my friends, and for the first time, I finally realized I am not alone. We are all struggling. I cannot lie it’s very frustrating. It’s more stressful handling the parents rather than the students. It's very easy to make kids happy rather than to make the parents happy.

Tell me how the students can be happy if their teachers feel frustrated? Teachers are human after all. We always try to do our best even our best will never be enough for them. We are scared too but we still do it afraid. We are depressed but we still try to handle all things. We are sad, but we still try to be okay and do our job. We are underpaid but we still give our best. But I don't know when we finally feel tired and decide to give up.